"Phenomenal Woman" by Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where

my secret lies,

I'm not cute or built to suit a 

fashion model's size

But when I start to tell them,

They think I'm telling lies

I say,

It's in the reach of my arms

The span of my hips,

The stride of my step,

The curl of my lips.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

~Maya Angelou

Rihanna's Finally Ready to Talk

Rihanna finally speaks out about the last 8 months and how she's grown from the "incident" that has now become legendary. Check it out. 

And I Never Mind

"And I Never Mind" - A sonnet by Tracey Lincoln

Love from a distance learns slowly
Giving what you can for the cause
Forgiving it as if it is holy
Fearing the results of it’s long pause

And you fight for the liberties of your nation
Eyes closing but victory is blinding
Love chases you from battle to station
And I watch eyes open, never minding

The most difficult task is to listen
Never give in because you are strong
Thousands of miles separate our positions
Thus you cannot hear my heart’s favorite song

It sings of longing to melodies of faith
But who knows how long this song can wait

Kissing is divine.

I love kissing. I love even just watching a good kiss. I was just watching Greek and there was this amazing kiss between Casey and Cappie (sorry if I ruined it for you). Maybe I'm alone here, but it's literally almost as fulfilling to watch as it is to do. It's beautiful. And in TV and film it's an amazing feeling because it's usually a culmination of all of these emotions and anxiety you've been feeling the whole time, and then it's all released in one kiss. It's beautiful. Kissing to me is one of those crazy things that show me that there has to be some kind of design to this universe. Like how did humans just come up with kissing? They were like hey, we both have lips and we're both feeling kinda hot so why don't we make them touch? But it ended up being a really good idea! Anyway I don't have much more to say about that. However, I will say that it is not the same experience for me when I have to witness two people who have no kissing chemistry or are just gross and don't know what to do with themselves. That's pretty painful and disgusting for me. So my advice to any actors out there is to practice and like tape yourself or something (just kissing) so you know if you look weird doing it, or have some critique you. That's just my opinion.

Happy kissing!

Strength in One

So I've expressed how overwhelmed I've been feeling lately. The weekends are a nice release for me because I decide to not think about anything at all. But then...it's Monday again and I find myself right back where I started. This week it's more than overwhelmed. It's a frustration with life. Maybe what I'm about to say is too personal for your taste, in which case I am perfectly fine with you ceasing to read on. However, I am pretty sure that I'm not the only one with these feelings so for those of you who can relate, know that you're not alone.

This week I decided that I want to interact with others as little as possible. Right now, I feel very frustrated because I am so misunderstood. I don't think it's the most mature thing to close everyone out of my life because I'm annoyed, but I do feel like my most important relationships are to myself and God. Those two are the only ones that I really need and that will never fail me. I should not be distracting myself with discomfort about trying to get people to see eye to eye with me when I should be focusing on allowing myself to grow. I am truly emotionally uncomfortable, and I don't think it would be a problem if I had more time to myself so that is my goal this week. Be strong on my own and then I can reach out to others. Wish me luck.

Overwhelmed, Naturally.

So Sami (one of my best friends who you may know from samiandalex.blogspot.com) texted me today saying something like, "seriously how do you deal with the stress of school?" I don't know if because we've known each other so long she can just read my mind or we just have that sense like Tia and Tamera do when the other twin feels what the other one feels, but I was literally asking myself that very question. It has become very apparent to me that my body is not handling the stress that I put on it very well, and I don't think it should.

So much is demanded of us. We're supposed to manage at least 15 hours of class per week (although I technically have 18 just from my five classes), then do homework for each class, then have a job so that we can afford to have a social life, then actually have a social life, then participate in extra-curricular activities, then eat, then sleep, then nurture our relationships with family or friends that are far away, then have some sort of personality. I personally don't think it's possible to fulfill all of these in any given day. I don't think we can do everything that is asked of us and maintain our physical and mental health at the same time. I think it's ridiculous that it has gotten to the point where success is dependent on us wearing ourselves out this way. It's not natural. I ended up telling Sami today that primary thing that college is teaching me is exactly what I don't want my life to look like. I cannot wait until I can focus on one job and put all of my effort into that. Right now I think the only way to fulfill each assignment for our classes would be to cheat our way through it and otherwise we just do the absolute minimum that it takes to get the grade we want. That's not satisfying to me. 

Does anybody feel the same or different? Are there people who are predisposed to this kind of lifestyle? I think I naturally desire to dip my toes into whatever I can, but I don't think anyone should ever wear themselves this thin. 

I AM My Hair

So you know that India Arie song, "I Am Not My Hair?" Well, I know that song is about how your identity shouldn't come from what you look like on the outside, but for one reason or another, the way I look on the outside affirms how I feel about myself on the inside. Let me explain.

As many of you may know, I am mixed with several nationalities. As a result, growing up I never really identified with any particular race or culture. My dad's side of the family is Costa Rican, and they are very connected to Costa Rica, but even that didn't really give me a strong culture. It wasn't until I was older that my mom really tried to get me to understand that I was black, which I partially am on her side, but that didn't really change the way I felt. When I look in the mirror, I don't see somebody that looks like anyone else. I have this weird skin color that resembles the tone of other African-Americans except that I have this browner/yellowy skin tone that just doesn't match up. Then I have these really dark, almost black eyes. Then most significantly, I have this crazy super curly hair that seems to be very rare. 

Maybe I feel like I stand out more than I really do, but I feel like this perspective gives me an advantage in a way. I always assumed that I was going to be different from everyone else, so I never made it a point to try to fit in or make myself any more like anyone else. Recently I had a discussion with my friend, Amber, about how I like to wear my hair curly even though I could straighten it pretty easily. It's hard to explain the attachment I have to my hair as it is. To me it's like my foundation for being fearlessly myself despite the status quo. I suppose it's shallow to base my personality on something that I could easily lose. I admit that it would hurt to part with the part of me to which I've become most attached, but I know that even when I'm old and gray I will picture myself with my curly hair that God gave me, and I will know who I am because of it.