Everyone says it's stupid to start college with a boyfriend or girlfriend because it will limit the people you meet and the fun you have. They say it like the key to having a successful college experience is to be single, but college means different things to different people, and just like everything else in life there is no one right way to have a good experience. Maybe it's not ideal to spend your freshman year in a long distance relationship, seeing your significant other once every couple months (maybe more maybe less), and watching everybody else hook up freely. However, maybe it's just me, but if I find real love then I'm not the one missing out. Why would I give up something profound and beautiful and life-changing just so I can have a generic college experience. I'm not saying that everyone else is wrong who breaks up with their high school boyfriends or girlfriends, but I'm a strongly believe that love is one of the most important things in life. There's no way I would let that go.
I got two responses to my question. Both were girls who struggled to maintain a relationship over an extremely long distance and still believe that it's worth trying to salvage.
Girl #1 said: "It was worth it. It probobly even kept me out of trouble.... it worked for me bc i did enjoy college and what it had to offer, i still was social, if anything our commitment grounded me for the better....We both as though, the other is special in someway, which is why we're not waivered by the distance bc no one here is him and no one there is me."*
Girl #2 said: "Against all odds and negative assumptions, my significant other and I have managed to remain together under circumstances far more strenuous than the distance of a few states....While there, he'll change a great deal, and so will I. Growing together, and being aware of each other's changes is what's going to sustain and strengthen our relationship.
...he brightens my day just when I thought the clouds were there to stay
...he's always pushing me to do better than what I thought was my best
...he remembers the little things, because he knows that they matter too
...he takes care of me when I don't know to take care of myself
...he still calls me before he goes to sleep to tell me that he loves me
...he's intelligent, and is always teaching me something new
...he teaches me about relationships, it's no the other way around :]
...he's comfortable being himself, but always pushes for improvement
...he's him...******************
If I would've listened to every voice that I heard during my senior year and broke up with him, I would have been making one of the biggest mistakes of my college life. Even if he and I don't stay together forever, *knock on wood* there were, and will be, so many lessons learned from our relationship. I'm glad that I listened to me, and I'm glad that I have him."*Both of these girls have come to understand that love is worth it even if their friends think they're crazy, even if they have to argue and scream and cry and struggle to make it work, even if they know they could be getting with other people, and even if they feel like they're missing out on their "college experience."
Whether you're a guy or a girl...whether you're in high school, graduating from high school, past freshman year, high school or college dropout...whatever...never let people tell you that you are wrong to fight for love. If you find somebody amazing then, if anything, you should be holding on tight not trading them in for a couple one night stands. Unless the person you're fighting for abuses you in any way, cheats on you or just blatantly disrespects you, it is worth struggling through all of the confusion, adjustment and compromise that you inevitably will have to get through.
Even if it has nothing to do with college. Maybe people want your relationship to fail because they don't see what you see in your boyfriend or girlfriend or because you're from different backgrounds or they have a bad reputation or for some reason they can't get over the fact that you're not with somebody else, in the end it's you that's going to have to live with your decision. If the person you're with makes you happy and that's the only thing you really know is true in the world, then don't let anyone convince you otherwise. One day they'll realize what you would have really been missing out on. Follow your heart.
Love conquers all.
*If you want the whole story of either girl I can give you the unabridged versions. Let me know.
wow, thats very profound! You girls are definately wise beyond your years but heres my advice, dont forget about number one.. you. No matter how much you love someone and think you'll die without them. You are the only one in control of your happyness, so dont compromise yourself for anyone... trust me if they are the right one they will be by your side through anything, and if they are not you'll figure it our sooner than later.
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the secret diary of misfit monroe. Im going to be doing a whole series on something I call "the monroe effect". Its all about how to be the best version of yourself as a sexy confident woman and make every head turn whenever you enter a room. Its the ultamate guide to seduction!!